Spiritual Influencer Quiz

Warm musk. Holy smoke. Questionable wisdom.

🧿 Faux Initiation Quiz: “What Kind of Spiritual Influencer Are You?”

1. Your followers look to you for...

A. Charging their water and crystals under the strawberry full moon

B. Breathwork tutorials and blurry sunrise photos

C. Crystal grids that allegedly “move energy”

D. Unsolicited life advice that sounds like a Drake lyric

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2. Your ideal merch item is...

A. A sustainably harvested palo santo bundle

B. A branded journal with glitter pens

C. A hoodie that says “Spiritual Prankster”

D. A jet onyx crystal carving

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3. Pick your mantra:

A. “Alignment over hustle.”

B. “Namaste in bed.”

C. “Abundance is my birthright.”

D. “Trust me, I’ve done a lot of inner work.”

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4. What’s your ideal morning ritual?

A. Pulling tarot while your coffee brews

B. Cold plunge + cacao + chaos

C. Journaling about your dreams (and your enemies)

D. Posting a reel titled “Things I’m energetically releasing”

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5. What’s your scent aura?

A. Sandalwood + rosewater + regret

B. Palo santo + privilege

C. Orange blossom + unprocessed trauma

D. Musk + mystery + “I’m not like the others”

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6. What do you charge for a 90-minute session?

A. $111 – because numerology

B. Sliding scale but somehow still $150

C. $222 + a testimonial + a mutual follow

D. “Energy exchange only” (but you really mean $333)

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7. What’s your relationship with astrology?

A. You know your Big Three. And their Big Three.

B. You blame Mercury retrograde for all your texts

C. You once broke up with someone because of their Saturn return

D. You are not compatible with anyone, and that’s your brand

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8. Choose your signature merch item:

A. A handmade cell phone case of jewels designed to look like Ganesha

B. A hoodie that says “Exhale the BS”

C. A perfume called Cult Leader

D. A journal titled “Channeling Myself”

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9. Your ex Brad/Kyle texts “hey.” What do you do?

A. Sage your phone. Twice.

B. Ignore. Block. Pull a tarot card. Still cry.

C. Respond with “who dis?” and a screenshot of your aura

D. Say “I energetically released you” but still check his story

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10. What’s in your bag right now?

A. A manifestation candle and 2 kinds of rosewater

B. Crystals you forgot the names of

C. A charged amethyst, lip balm, and emotional baggage

D. Cordyceps + Ayahuasca

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11. What's your go-to spiritual phrase?

A. “If it’s meant for me, it won’t miss me.”

B. “My aura said no.”

C. “Vibrate higher, babe.”

D. “This timeline no longer serves me.”

- - -

Quiz Results

Mostly A's - Crystal Witch

💎 You Got: The Crystal Witch

You’ve got moon-charged water in your bag and five amethysts in your bra. Your room smells like intention. You’re sensitive, sparkly, and just a little dangerous.

Your vibe: Soft voice, sharp boundaries. Mostly.

You’ve probably said: “Let me check the energy first.”

You’ve definitely done: A full moon breakup ceremony. Twice.

Scent match: Cult Leader – for when you want to look innocent but smell like divine manipulation.

Mostly B's - Breathwork Babe

🧘 You Got: The Breathwork Babe

You cry for fun and teach others to do the same. People leave your classes confused but transformed. Your voice is soothing and slightly mysterious. You’re everyone’s safe space… until Mercury retrograde hits.

Your vibe: Deep exhales and expensive essential oils

You’ve probably said: “You’re safe to release that.”

You’ve definitely done: A voice note apology at 2:22am

Scent match: Inner Fire Hazard Candle – you need your surroundings as grounded as your nervous system.

Mostly C's - Actual Cult Leader

🔥 You Got: The Actual Cult Leader

You don’t follow trends—you start them. People “accidentally” call you their mentor. Your candle business? Thriving. Your aura? Magnetic. Your ego? Spiritually justified.

Your vibe: Sacred seduction + a Google Doc

You’ve probably said: “I’m not better than you. I’m just further along.”

You’ve definitely done: A photoshoot in white linen for “branding purposes.”

Scent match: Cult Leader – obviously. You're the muse and the movement.

Mostly D's - Shadow Queen

🌀 You Got: The Shadow Queen

You're the dark feminine in a world of toxic positivity. You’ve “been through it” and now coach others from your trauma lair. Therapy? Yes. Journaling? Constant. Spells? Optional but not discouraged.

Your vibe: Velvet, incense, and accountability

You’ve probably said: “I’m integrating my lessons.”

You’ve definitely done: A cord-cutting ritual during Scorpio moon

Scent match: Shadow Work Spray (coming soon) – because your vibe is high AND haunted.

Shop Spiritual Influencer Collections

Jesi Lee

Cult Leader scented candle, 4 oz soy wax candle

$22.00
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What It Smells Like

 A seductive, soul-hugging blend of:
• Musk – for grounded sensuality
• Copal – sacred and smoky
• Champaca – floral and intoxicating
• Neroli – pure light in a bottle

Smells like you finally found your calling. Or at least a really good brunch spot.

Aromas of a warm hug from your favorite spiritual guide.

Feels like you could definitely get people to quit their jobs and follow you.

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🔮 Free shipping on orders over $150 | Made with divine delulu

Limited Stock Cologne

Mini Ritual: Activate Your Inner Main Character

 Step into your power (and your favorite linen set) with our scent ritual.

→ One spritz.
→ One candle.
→ One delusional affirmation.
You’re ready.

Read The Ritual

⭐ Testimonials ⭐

“I wore Cult Leader to a cacao ceremony and left with three new clients.” – @chakra.karen

“Smells like I journal with intention and charge my phone with crystals.” – Verified Buyer

“Bought it as a joke. Now I’m weirdly empowered.” – Anonymous (but thriving)

Full disclosure: AI reviewed these products.

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Cult Leader Classics